And then…

…. all sorts of beautiful things flowed my way.

My Personal Trainer asked me how I was and she really heard me when I said that I was exhausted and struggling. Instead of working through our six week program, we did Pilates stretches and mat work. And when we finished she said, “I love you! And I love your family! You are so easy to love! You’re always telling me cool stories and they keep me going all week!”

And then I bumped into Mr Leunig, who happens to live a few doors down from me. (Yes, in THAT street!) And we chatted about life and the world and porous boundaries or what he calls osmosis and the challenges of human connection in the modern world. He wished me all the best and I invited him and his wife to come over for a cup of tea when we move back into our home.

And then my Shiatsu therapist told me that My Number One Project for the next six months was to rest and heal. “Because if not now, then when?” She told me that I had to now it now, before I move back into my house. And before my body burnt itself out and I got all kinds of sick and sad. There was no pressure to fix myself, eat better, do better, do more, do anything. Just REST.

And then my son’s kindergarten teachers popped over one afternoon for a home visit. And they sat on the floor and played trains with him while I served pastries and tea. And they were so generous of their time and attention. And so prepared to meet him exactly where he is (and truly savour his gorgeous cuddles). And then, for the first time, he did not cry when I dropped him off two days later and didn’t want to leave when it was time for me to pick him up. And then, later that evening, he went down to sleep without a single objection or prevarication.

And then, every week day at 10am, the most perfect reminder popped up on my phone. Ronna Detrick is a therapist and a theologian and her Sacred Muse app draws from sacred women’s stories from gospels throughout the ages. This weeks musings have included: One foot in front of the other. That is enough.  And Refuse to relent when it comes to asking for what you deserve. Yep.

And then I bumped into another friend whom I have known since our kids were bambini but haven’t seen in ages and we stopped our respective bike and car in the middle of the street and were totally ON. Emotional intelligence. True education. Healthy boundaries. The true gifts of in-person connection. Our fears for our children. Our hopes for our children. Until another car pulled up behind mine and it was time for me to move but I swear I drove home on air.

And then, I finally pulled my copy of Brené Brown’s latest offering Braving the Wilderness off my shelf. And it totally spoke to where I am right now. In a kinder moment, it occurred to me that I could buy a copy for every household in my street, tie an actual olive branch to the front and do a mail drop to each house with a thoughtful handwritten note to the effect of “I’m sorry for my part in what’s happened over the last couple of years. Can we start over? I think this book outlines a great way to go forward. What do you think? Here’s my number, let me make you a cup of tea and we can chat.” You never know, it may happen…

And then my daughter and I started reading A Wrinkle In Time. And it stimulated so many conversations and feelings about light and darkness and time and space, most of which I felt thoroughly ill-equipped to talk about but all of which I thoroughly enjoyed. And when I read this article about the forthcoming film, my heart practically exploded. And now I’m a billion times more keen to see this film, if that’s even possible.

And then, during my weekly turmeric latte date with one of my favourite people (while our daughters attend the same dance class), I asked if I could take a photo of our table, including our hands. When she asked why, I told her it was for my #31daysofsactuary photo challenge and we both cried.

Everywhere around me, there are the clearest signs that this is my time. My people are here, all around me. People who get it. People who care.

What I focus on, expands.